Fine Was Never The Point
In February 2018 I lay in savasana at a yoga class with a 6 figure bonus in an envelope.
I cried my eyes out. I'd never felt so empty.
This is the essay for anyone who has looked at their life and thought, this can't be it.
I spent ten years on a trading floor at JPMorgan and Citigroup, six figures, a flat in zone 1.
A wardrobe full of expensive dresses I bought on the tube to feel something.
On the outside, completely fine but on the inside, the loneliest I'd ever been.
This essay is the story of what happened when I stopped running.
What I found underneath the performance and why burning down my successful life was the best thing I ever did.
If any part of your life feels hollow right now, read this first.
Hey, I’m Lucy
Ten years on the trading floor at JPMorgan and Citigroup. Professionally nailing it, six figures and a life that looked exactly right from the outside.
And I was the loneliest, most disconnected version of myself I've ever been.
Not because anything was obviously wrong, but because I'd spent thirty years building an impressive version of myself that had absolutely nothing to do with who I actually was.
I didn't shift it by changing anything on the outside, I shifted it by going all the way into the depths of myself, the shadow, the grief, the parts I'd been performing over for decades and finding out who was actually there underneath it all.
Since 2021 I've worked with high achievers: executives, founders, professionals who look like they have it together and are quietly dying inside their own life.
People who are brilliant at success and lost inside it.
My work blends five years of somatic and trauma-informed training with teachers, including Gabor Maté and Layla Martin, and ten years of lived experience on the inside of the world my clients are trying to find their way out of.
This isn't surface-level, it's the real thing.